I loved this- A lot

I wanted to have this to reference back to. It is such a good article.
Here is the direct source: Paying the Babysitter

And for the article...
{and I quote}

PAYING THE BABYSITTER

October 15, 2013 · by jancisco · in Children, motherhood. ·

This weekend , I tried a new approach to the guessing game of paying the babysitter.  I told them how much I was willing to pay for their help ahead of time, and I outlined what I expected to happen while I was gone.  It was a Take It or Leave It approach, and it worked.  But there was a little bit of eye-rolling when I stated that my price for three hours with two kids was $15.  Apparently I am way below the curve of what people are paying in our neighborhood.

My position is that it is not a hard job: I don’t expect them to be the mom, I expect them to watch a movie with my kids and feed them a little pre-made dinner.  Probably almost exactly what they would be doing at home for free.  If I pay them more, they ought to do more, like clean my house, make the dinner and do the dishes.  If I had a new baby, I would pay extra for the inevitable emotional drain and possible sore muscles from carrying the baby.  If I had really intense or difficult kids, I would pay them more just to make sure they are willing to come back.

After the babysitter took my offer, because we are friends and I was interested, she and her brother started talking about what they get paid for other jobs.  He said that he usually earns $30-40 each time he mows someone’s lawn.  He was bewildered when a man in our ward said $20 was too much to pay for just mowing his lawn.  Then he said that regular, non-LDS people pay $50 per time that he mows their lawn!  FIFTY DOLLARS.  I believe my brother charged $50 for a summer-long commitment of lawn mowing for each house on his route.

So the kids are saying, “This is so great!  I am making so much money!” And the adults are saying, “Well, I guess if that is what people are paying, I had better stay competitive with what I pay too.” And the price keeps inflating higher and higher.  But what are the consequences?

First, I get a babysitter twice a year.  I can’t afford it otherwise.  Other moms feel the same way.  So the teenagers are potentially losing out on steady work and the commitment of holding a regular babysitting job because the going rate is more than many families can afford. My friends and I get around that by simply swapping kids with each other, which is fantastic and cheap.  So we aren’t the ones missing out in the situation–its the teenager who could have some money more often, rather than lots of money occasionally.

And second, we are creating an unrealistic expectation for kids in what their time and energy is actually worth.  When I was a kid, babysitting was a low-paying, under-age job, but at least we earned something until we were 16 and we could go out and get a grocery store or restaurant job and really start earning money.  Now, we are inflating teenager’s wages for babysitting and yard work and the minimum wage job at the grocery store down the street is not enticing at all.  They don’t want to do actual work for less money than they they are used to getting around the neighborhood.  I had one teen tell me that he hated his pizza place job because “they treat me like a trained monkey.  I think they want to work me to death.”  Yeah, real jobs are hard. Because it is actually work, not watching a movie with kids with a little light dish-rinsing thrown in.  When they can mow a lawn and earn $50 an hour anything less than that seems like a rip-off.  Or slave labor.  We complain about the plumber charging for his labor, or the mechanic, and yet we freely overpay these unskilled teenagers to their detriment.

A recent article stated that only 28% of teenagers (16-18) have their drivers licenses, down from 46% of licensed teens in 1983.  Their unemployment rate is 24%–fully three times the national average.  Yes, it is getting more expensive to do things, but also–kids just don’t seem to be very motivated to chase after things.  Many of them are content to be carted around by their parents, have things paid for by their parents, and take their time reaching adulthood.  Maybe this is the same argument that has been made in every generation (starting with the words, “In my day. . .”), but from my perspective teenagers have never before been so impressive or so useless.  Their potential spans a great chasm, and we should all be anxious to help them climb from mediocrity to impressiveness.

The Value of Hard Work and Desperation

In my day, my siblings and I would do anything to earn a little extra money. We were desperate.  Lemonade stands, selling fruit from our orchard door to door.  I even remember setting up a restaurant in our gazebo in the yard, making sandwiches with the food from our kitchen, and then expecting my mom to come and buy the food from me (so she had to buy the same stuff twice–at the grocery store, then the gazebo.  She refused, but in exchange for a free sandwich, she let us keep selling her food to other people).  If I could scrape together enough money to go to the movie, I was set.  That creative ability to solve my money problems has led me all over the work-world–to Taiwan, a mountain summer camp, cleaning college buildings, working nights in a cherry factory, doing “handyman projects” that I (and my boss) were totally unqualified to do, crocheting afghans, cleaning houses, even writing a couple of articles for a local food magazine.  Nevermind my college degree and legitimate, steady jobs.  I was willing to work almost anywhere and I have patchworked my 31 years with adventure, travel, boredom and new skills.

And my level of ambition is put to shame by the previous generation’s.  My father-in-law is a remarkably tenacious worker.  When he was ten, he decided that he wanted a horse.  Period.  His parents said, “No, we don’t have any place to put it, you can’t have a horse”.  But he was undeterred.  He got on his bike and made some inquiries.  He found a stable that he could board a horse and a place to buy hay.  Now, he just needed a horse, and money to buy it.  He first saved up his money so that he could buy a lawnmower, then he mowed lawns, saved his lunch money every day instead of buying lunch, turned in pop bottles for about a dollar a day, saved his birthday money–in short, he didn’t spend a thing. (Keep in mind: he was TEN).  When he was 11, he had finally saved up about $300 in 1970 dollars (equivalent to $1,775 today).

He saw an ad in the paper for an Appaloosa for sale in LaVerkin, Utah that he thought would be a good fit.  $200.  So he called up his bishop, who had a horse trailer, and they went down to buy the horse.   He got Callie (named for her Calico coat) all set up in her stall and then went home and told his mom, “I bought a horse.”  “You did not!”  “I did.  I’ll show you if you want.”  So they drove down there together and she was blown away.  He would ride his bike across town each day after school to feed and ride Callie.  He kept working to earn the money for her hay and board.

Desperation begets creativity.  Creatively solving problems gives kids confidence to do more.  Confidence in doing more leads to success.  Overpaying kids upends the whole cycle.

Guidelines

So I propose a unified approach to the question of What Do You Pay The Babysitter:

• Set your price relative to the price of a movie ticket.  Everyone’s cost of living is different, so it isn’t reasonable to say $3/hour across the world.  But if it takes about two hours to earn the money to go to a 2-hour movie, that seems fair.  Movies here are $10 a ticket, I think, so I would pay $5 an hour, regardless of how many kids I have.
• Lay out your proposal from the beginning so you can avoid the awkward car ride conversation when you are dropping them off. “Is that enough?  Is that okay?” “yeah, it’s fine.  Whatever is fine.”
• Point out exactly what you would like to have them do while you are gone.  “I need you to feed them all, and then clear up the table and put the dishes in the sink.  If you do the dishes, I will pay you $2 extra.  Then put the kids to bed, make sure they have their pajamas on and their teeth brushed.  After the kids are in bed, if you want an extra $2, feel free to clean up the house.”  Think of hiring a teenage babysitter as a training opportunity for their upcoming “real job”.
• If kids decide that they really want to develop their babysitting skills by taking CPR courses, or making a babysitting kit to bring with them, then we ought to respect their improving skills and pay them more.  I have a friend who saved up all of her money for college by babysitting kids in the DC area, even holding summer camps in her home for groups of kids.  I’m not saying that we should underpay anyone.  I’m saying that these kids should earn their money.  So if it is an easy job, they have earned $5 an hour, if my kids are difficult, then they have earned $10 an hour by putting up with them.  If they save them from a house fire, they get a bonus! If they have developed themselves professionally to a point where they are actively engaging with my kids, taking care of the house, feeding them healthy foods and getting them to bed on time, they are earning more than $5.  But to sit and and watch a show, leave the house a mess and put the baby to bed with a saggy diaper– they haven’t earned much.  We ought to require responsible, accountable employees.
• Paying the “going rate” blindly or proudly isn’t doing our babysitters any favors.  If this resonates with you, please share the article with your neighborhood friends and ward members.  It will be more effective if all of the parents in your circle are on the same page.  Let’s do what little we can to reinforce responsibility and healthy desperation in these kids!

{End Quote}

I will definitely re-visit this someday. Thank you for sharing on your blog Jan Francisco!!

Being prepared for the second coming of Christ

I am not sure if I have mentioned that Dan is the ward mission leader for our ward. As part of his calling, we attend the Gospel Principles class. I actually really enjoy this class- and this past Sunday, we discussed The Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

This lesson made this topic a lot less scary for me. I will tell you the 2 reasons why the second coming terrifies me.
1. There are a lot of knowns, but there are also tons of unknowns, and I hate not knowing. I also think I dream it up in my head to be way different than it will really be. Anyway, scary because I have a lot of I don't knows.
2. I start to worry for the benefit of every soul except my own- I would seriously love to just scoop everyone I care about up and protect them, and keep them safe, and have them choose the right way so no one gets lost.

I am an over thinker. Ya think??

Anyway, to the part that is a lot less scary. These principles are things I knew, but at this point in my life and the way it was presented, a new light was really shed on the whole subject for me.
This lesson really touches my heart.
First, Jesus' first coming was but a small and humble one. There were just two people, and I'm sure God and Angels. He had but a lowly manger to be laid in. Our Savior led a simple and humble life, teaching the gospel, and turning the other cheek. He was persecuted and ridiculed by his own people, and then crucified. When I really ponder what that all means, and how directly this affects my life, I honestly can't fathom what my Savior went through for me. Nor can I ever repay Him.

Second, The first resurrection has already started, and encompasses all who will be celestial and terrestial glory. What a wonderful thought! I realized that this resurrection encompasses everyone I love!!

After Jesus was resurrected, he instructed and counseled his Apostles for 40 days. They then all went to the Mount of Olives, where Jesus "ascended into heaven. While the Apostles looked up into the heavens, two angels stood beside them and said, “Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go” (Acts 1:11)."

The Second Coming of Christ will be glorious- completely opposite His first coming. Everyone will know who He is. 

Jesus will do the following when he comes again:

1. He will cleanse the earth. When Jesus comes again, He will come in power and great glory. At that time the wicked will be destroyed. All things that are corrupt will be burned, and the earth will be cleansed by fire (see D&C 101:24–25).

2. He will judge His people. When Jesus comes again, He will judge the nations and will divide the righteous from the wicked (see Matthew 25:31–46; see also chapter 46 in this book). John the Revelator wrote about this judgment: “I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, … and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years.” The wicked he saw “lived not again until the thousand years were finished” (Revelation 20:4–5; see also D&C 88:95–98).

3. He will usher in the Millennium. The Millennium is the thousand-year period when Jesus will reign on the earth. The righteous will be caught up to meet Jesus at His coming (see D&C 88:96). His coming will begin the millennial reign. (See chapter 45 in this book.) President Brigham Young said:
“In the Millennium, when the Kingdom of God is established on the earth in power, glory and perfection, and the reign of wickedness that has so long prevailed is subdued, the Saints of God will have the privilege of building their temples, and of entering into them, becoming, as it were, pillars in the temples of God [see Revelation 3:12], and they will officiate for their dead. Then we will see our friends come up, and perhaps some that we have been acquainted with here. … And we will have revelations to know our forefathers clear back to Father Adam and Mother Eve, and we will enter into the temples of God and officiate for them. Then [children] will be sealed to [parents] until the chain is made perfect back to Adam, so that there will be a perfect chain of Priesthood from Adam to the winding-up scene” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young [1997], 333–34).

4. He will complete the First Resurrection. Those who have obtained the privilege of coming forth in the resurrection of the just will rise from their graves. They will be caught up to meet the Savior as He comes down from heaven. (See D&C 88:97–98.) After Jesus Christ rose from the dead, other righteous people who had died were also resurrected. They appeared in Jerusalem and also on the American continent. (See Matthew 27:52–53; 3 Nephi 23:9–10.) This was the beginning of the First Resurrection. Some people have been resurrected since then. Those who already have been resurrected and those who will be resurrected at the time of His coming will all inherit the glory of the celestial kingdom (see D&C 76:50–70).
After the resurrection of those who will inherit celestial glory, another group will be resurrected: those who will receive a terrestrial glory. When all these people have been resurrected, the First Resurrection will be completed.
The wicked who are living at the time of the Second Coming of the Lord will be destroyed in the flesh. They, along with the wicked who are already dead, will have to wait until the last resurrection. All of the remaining dead will rise to meet God. They will either inherit the telestial kingdom or be cast into outer darkness with Satan (see D&C 76:32–33, 81–112).

5. He will take His rightful place as King of heaven and earth. When Jesus comes, He will establish His government on the earth. The Church will become part of that kingdom. He will rule all the people of the earth in peace for 1,000 years. When Jesus Christ first came to the earth, He did not come in glory. He was born in a lowly stable and laid in a manger of hay. He did not come with great armies as the Jews had expected of their Savior. Instead, He came saying, “Love your enemies, … do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you” (Matthew 5:44). He was rejected and crucified. But He will not be rejected at His Second Coming, “for every ear shall hear it, and every knee shall bow, and every tongue shall confess” that Jesus is the Christ (D&C 88:104). He will be greeted as “Lord of lords, and King of kings” (Revelation 17:14). He will be called “Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).

Dan, Cameron, and I held FHE tonight and went over this lesson again and had our own discussion. Heavenly Father and Jesus love us so much, that the plan of salvation seriously provides every opportunity available to be worthy and sinless as the time for Jesus to come draws near. 

I have lived my life with out the gospel before. I chose to come back to the gospel and be sealed to my best friend for eternity. I can tell you that I know and believe that life is better, easier, and happier with the gospel. When I am doing what God wants me to do, my life is more simple, and more beautiful. 

I know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ our Savior. I am so grateful that he established his church long ago, and restored the full gospel through Joseph Smith. I know that President Monson leads us today. I am so grateful for the sure knowledge I have of the truthfulness of these things. I am so excited to share what I know with anyone who is searching and willing to listen and open their heart to the gospel. Having faith in God and His plan completes life and makes living worth while. 

If you would like to read this lesson for yourself, here is the link:

http://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-44-the-second-coming-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng

I am a stereotype: Mormon Stay at Home Mom

Alright- let's be honest. Being a stay at home mom is a whole lot of each of these. I have received a few comments about why I don't work. I kindly reply and then think- what business is it of yours? Why do you work? 

First off, I have to applaud Mom's that choose to work, Mom's that have to work, and especially single Mom's who do everything. Parenthood was never meant for one person. It is too involved and requires so much! I honestly don't know how women be a Mom, a wife, and work outside the home. I tend my nephew 4-5 days a week, and have 1 easy baby of my own, and I am busy. 

"Busy from son up, til son down!!" 

No seriously though, I am extremely busy! My days are always full of dishes, laundry, all the boring house work. Cooking and shopping. I also tend my yard and garden, which is a lot of work but very satisfying. I have raspberries, hollyhocks, carrots, beets, beans, corn, tomatoes, and squash in my back yard, and tons of flowers finally filling in my front. It has taken me 5 years of cultivating to get this flowerbed filled in nicely.

 Part of the yard work is battling these damn gophers.

  

We play lots and lots, and read lots and lots. We practice ABC's and counting, and we sing silly songs and nursery rhymes. We play in the sprinklers, and play with the doggies. Sometimes we watch movies! Boys nap, and I use that time to work out. 

Sometimes we go on field trips: playdates with friends, planetarium, water park, park and picnics. 

 I have to acknowledge that I know I am extremely blessed to be able to stay home. It is my choice, and Daniel provides enough for our family to allow me to do so. I know that for many families, that it isn't possible.  

So down to the question, why don't I work?

I do. 

Also, I choose not to work outside the home because I want to be the one who teaches my children. I want to be the one who cheers them on, and who picks them up when they fall. I want to know that they have been taught values, principles, and manners. I want them to grow up knowing and feeling that I was always there for them. 

Staying home is also in many respects a spiritual choice. My faith doesn't require that I stay home, but certainly in situations that allow for a mother to stay home, that is preferred. Children learn gospel and spiritual principles in their own homes, and their natural tendencies for kindness and happiness are best fostered at home. 

“The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.” 

― Harold B. Lee